


The Rabbit

by Caius



Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Sentient Sex Toys, Canon-ish character death, Do not take this fic seriously, M/M, Multi, Other, Slapstick, everyone is a sex toy except Galvatron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 10:45:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16931817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caius/pseuds/Caius
Summary: For anon on tumblr, who requested, "Vibrator AU: Cyclonus is a rabbit vibrator that Galvatron ordered."Inspired somewhat by TheBuggu's Bad Predacon AU, which is no longer online. Originally posted on tumblr October 23, 2015.





	The Rabbit

“Grah!” Galvatron yanked the red-white-and-blue meshlight off his dented spike. “You’ve bit me for the last time, Starscream!”

“Mercy, Mighty Meg–Galvatron!” the meshlight squawked, transforming and abasing himself on the floor. “Never again! I will serve you faith–”

But Galvatron’s particle cannon was already heating up. “I’m done with your treachery and lies! And your _teeth_!” 

The meshlight ducked and scrambled and begged, but he was too small, and the cannon bolt too wide and powerful. Starscream collapsed into a pile of slag and a lingering scream. 

Galvatron huffed and ground the remains of his once-favorite toy beneath his thruster. He slumped back on his berth, spike still extended, sore and charged and full of tiny teeth marks. He poked the new dents, then wrapped a hand around the spike and squeezed, giving it a few frustrated strokes.

It was not satisfying. 

Galvatron thought – for a fleeting moment – that perhaps there had been a reason Megatron had kept Starscream around, despite his tendency to bite the spike that fed him. 

He dismissed the thought with a huff. “I got a _dozen_ models just like him! And the other ones don’t bite!” 

Dropping his spike in frustration, he threw himself across the room, pausing momentarily to kick at the burnt remains of Megatron’s favorite meshlight before pulling out his toy box. 

The assorted Dildocons and Meshlights within yelped at the sudden motion, propelled from their lazy piles to the back of the box, and then either looked up at their owner or indifferently reconfigured their piles. 

“When did I get so many Mustache Rides?” Galvatron glared down at his collection. “Where are all my Suckers?” 

The little blue winged Mustache Rides (with node-stimulating headguns!) variously tried to look innocent or hid under each others’ wings. 

Galvatron shoved an arm in and pushed aside the squealing Mustache Rides. “No, no, not an Aft-train – I could have sworn there was at least a conehead in here _somewhere_ –! Ah, you’re all useless!” Galvatron yanked the front wall of the toy box off, causing a pile of vibrating Stunti-vibes to fall off onto the floor. “Go! Go earn your own slaggin’ keep!” He stomped off and flopped back onto the berth, then hopped up again, realizing he’d put his aft on the remote to the TV. 

He considered vaporizing that, too, but to the Matrix with it – maybe he could at least get some entertainment from the TV, if not his spike. 

“…Autobot Demolition Derby will return – after these messages!” 

“Figures.” Galvatron growled. Autobots being demolished sounded like fun, though. He wrapped an idle hand around his spike, thinking about the bitty little spike toys transforming and rolling over each other in the cage matches…mm, maybe he should think about ordering one of those. 

“…And from the hot new ‘facebot makers on the block, the 2005 Unicronian ‘Rabbit’! He doesn’t just fill your valve and electrify them…he worships them! Obedient, intelligent, and drop-dead gorgeous, the “Rabbit” vibrating Dildocon is putting Unicron Facebots Ltd on the map! Watch out, Quints…!“ 

Galvatron had stopped listening to the announcer by this time and was just staring. And drooling. 

The Rabbit was so…big, and purple. And the little fluttery rabbit ears would just…without looking away from the screen, he pushed his chewed up spike back into its housing and shoved a couple fingers up his suddenly dripping valve instead. 

“You’ll be _mine_ ,” Galvatron vowed, shoving his fingers deep inside and imagining that adoring face dripping with his lubricants. “ _Mine_!” 

“And now, back to Autobot Demolition Derby!” the announcer said. Galvatron growled and would have blasted the screen, but his right arm was very definitely occupied. 

He _would_ have his Rabbit, and he would have him _soon_.

  


It was a very, very long week of waiting. Galvatron raged and paced about, dripping and burning with desire that only his new Rabbit could satisfy. His spike went completely neglected, the only thing that came close to satisfying him any more was staring at the promotional images of the new Unicronian “Rabbit” while he filled his valve with anything and anyone that could fit. 

His toy box was full of dazed and satisfied Dildocons, suddenly eating better than they had in years, even though some of them were puzzled and distressed about being shoved into or on a valve rather than the usual spike. 

“Figures,” grumbled a damp Motormaster. “With as often as that screechy little traitor bit him, s'a wonder the spike stayed functional as long as it did.” 

Wildrider giggled as he licked lubricants off his combiner-multipack leader. “Bet he can’t get it up anymore, heee!” 

“Incoming!” bellowed Divebomb, as a drippy gestalt of Predasleeves variously glided, bounced, or just plain crashed into the toy box.

“Great, more food,” Astrotrain observed, kicking Tantrum off his back and then licking some excess fluid off the Bullvibe. 

“It’s not gonna last much longer, bots,” Dead End pointed out. “The new Rabbit gets here today, and then we all starve.”

Wildrider elbowed him, smearing lubricants back onto his carefully groomed plating, then giggled. “But at least you’ll be a nice clean, dry, corpse!”   


  


Galvatron was pacing the front lawn of his fortress, threatening to blast anyone who had the audacity to come by _without_ his Rabbit! 

When the postal truck finally arrived, he didn’t even let the bot transform before he jumped him. “Hand it over! Gimme my Rabbit!” 

Grumbling under his breath, the postal truck sorted through his trailer-space for the package. “I need your signature, sir.” 

Galvatron grabbed the box in one arm and aimed his cannon at the clipboard with the other. “ _THIS_ is my signature, truckbot!” he announced, signing “Galvatron” in remarkably precise vaporized paper, then half-sprinted, half-flew back into the house with his prize. 

“At last!” Galvatron yelled, sitting down on the floor and ripping away the outer packaging. “Beautiful,” he breathed, when he caught sight of his prize, carefully tied into a bed of silica-board and plastic. “…and all mine!” He carefully pulled the bindings away from his new vibrator, and then clutched him to his chest. “My rabbit.”

“My Lord?” the vibrator said, his deep voice going straight to Galvatron’s tainted spark. “I am Cyclonus. I was created to serve you.” 

Galvatron laughed in delight. He’d thought he’d have his rabbit – _Cyclonus_ – in his valve by now but he was just so…beautiful, and perfect, he wanted to look and touch. Galvatron’s large hands stroked him all over his back, aft, wings, the tiny thrusters in his legs, the adorable little ears that he’d been thinking about having against his node for _days_! 

“You were,” Galvatron said, proud and delighted, and he pulled the little Dildocon up to his face.

“What is your command, my Looohh!” Cyclonus’ voice cut off in surprise as Galvatron pressed his new prize to his lips, intent on touching every bit of him with lips and tongue. He sucked the little thrusters into his lips, one by one, all the way up to the place where they joined.

“My Lord!” Cyclonus protested, as Galvatron hummed happily around the hot little bot in his mouth. “I – I am here to serve you, not – vice versa.” 

Galvatron nibbled, just gently, at the cute little hip. “You _are_ ,” he said, and then pulled his mouth off for a moment, because he needed to kiss and suck those ears _right now_. 

Cyclonus clung to his face, quivering a little at the slight pain of Galvatron’s teeth, and more, of his disappointment. “My Lord, your mouth feels so – I did not know it would be so _good_!” It felt so good his whole body felt like vibrating, but he didn’t know what his Lord wanted, yet. 

“Keep praising me,” Galvatron said, distractedly, in between licking the little nubs. 

“Oh!” Cyclonus moaned, and despite himself he felt himself vibrating at the touch. “I – I my Lord, you’re so powerful, so hot, so wet, your lubricants electrify me and I have not even been permitted to touch your valve yet, the taste of your lips is better than anything I’ve ever know, Lord, please, Lord!”   


His whole body convulsed as he lost control of his vibrations, motors pushed to the maximum by the pleasure of his Lord’s lips on his ears, the rush of energy as his Lord’s lubricants diffused through every seam of his frame, everything building up into a flash of energy discharge that knocked him offline, slack in Galvatron’s hand. 

Galvatron smirked down at his toy, gently quivering in his hand, and gave it a few long, proprietary licks from the tip of his ears to the tips of his thrusters. “Perfect,” he said, and shoved his hand between his own legs, getting himself ready while his toy recovered enough to transform. 

“My Lord?” Cyclonus said, and the anxious, adoring look on the face of the completely debauched Dildocon went straight to Galvatron’s valve. “What – what do you desire?” 

“Transform.” Galvatron ordered, giving Cyclonus one more little kiss while he still worked his valve with the hand not holding his toybot. “You’re going up my valve.” 

“ _Thank you_ , my Lord!” Cyclonus said, deliriously happy, as he folded himself up into a broad, thick dildo, head and ears shifting into configuration to please Galvatron’s swollen, dripping external node. 

This was the moment Galvatron had been waiting for, and he wasn’t going to wait any longer. He pulled his soaking hand out of his valve and shoved Cyclonus in right up to his neck. “Vibrate!” Galvatron commanded, arching his hips up against his toy, grinding his external node against Cyclonus’ head, rubbing his ceiling node all over the hot base formed from Cyclonus’ thrusters.

“My Lord!” Cyclonus obeyed, immediately, all of him at once. 

“Yes!” Galvatron exclaimed. “Yes, yes!” His hands were too slick to have much control, but it didn’t matter, everything was overwhelming and wonderful and Cyclonus filled him perfectly, and _this_ was the overload he was chasing all this time. 

Galvatron vented hard, coming back down just slightly, Cyclonus still going full force inside of him. “Yes…!” he said, flipping onto his knees, shifting the angle of Cyclonus’ huge hard dildoalt inside of him, working his valve and hips over his prize. “Oh!” And Cyclonus did a _thing_ with his helm and it was just – “So good!” Galvatron exclaimed, overloading again, coming back down with Cyclonus still lodged tight inside him, even though he’d lost the grip on the base of the dildo. “Oh, oh, my rabbit, do that again!”

“My lord!” Cyclonus said, deep voice vibrating his worship through Galvatron’s whole body, and it was almost enough on its own, but Cyclonus was obeying, and Galvatron’s node exploded in pleasure. 

“Best, best rabbit!” Galvatron enthused, working his hips through his aftershocks, arms now bracing him against his own slippery floor. “And all mine!” 

“Mighty – mighty Lord!” Cyclonus moaned from the depths of his Lord’s valve, and then the burst of electricity that Galvatron had felt in his hands before was in his _valve_ , and it was enough to trip Galvatron’s circuit breakers, sending him into a blissful sated offline in the middle of a pool of lubricants on his own floor. 

When Galvatron came back online, it was to a deep sense of satisfaction, as well as an odd lack of wetness and a ravenous hunger. “Cyclonus?” he asked, his toy the one vivid thing that stood out from recent memory. 

“My Lord?” Cyclonus landed on his Lord’s chest, a cube of concentrated energon more than half his height clutched in his arms. “I – was told you might be hungry after you use me.” 

Galvatron took the cube and leaned up just enough to drain it, before looking down at the toy clinging to his chest, so very eager to please. 

And then, a slight tickle at his thigh, and he looked past Cyclonus in surprise. There was a small army of Mustache Rides cleaning his floor, and one of them had decided to apply its mustache to a stray particle of lubricant on his thigh. 

Galvatron started to laugh, it was all so ridiculous, but then Cyclonus launched himself up from Galvatron’s chest, suddenly all fire and fury. “Sweep 5! You clean the _floor_ , not the Master!” Cyclonus slapped the errant Mustache Ride (Sweep?) away from Galvatron’s plating in a dazzling display of Dildocon dominance. Sweep 5 cowered at his feet, and Galvatron did laugh then, in sheer delight. He pulled himself to his feet, aching slightly from the using Cyclonus so vigorously on a hard surface. 

“Tell them to keep sweeping, my Cyclonus, and come to my berth!” 

“Yes, my Lord!” Cyclonus said, and with a few stern words to the Sweeps, he followed where his Lord led. 


End file.
